I am feeling MUCH better today!! I have decided it is stupid to let infertility consume my life. Yes we want a baby very bad but obviously it is not meant to be right now. Why, I have NO clue but it is what it is. We are still thinking about what we want to do but I really do think that we might just wait until after the holidays to make any big decisions. As of right now my gut feeling is don't waste our money on doing IUI a 3rd time. Now that could all change in the next few months. We all know I change my mind a lot =). That is truly how I am feeling right now. Is IVF a possibility in the future? Absolutely, but we are not rushing into it. I am just going to try to think about other things and appreciate what I have not what I can't have!!! It is easier said than done but I am going to try my best. Just please know it is very hard for me to hear just relax, quit trying, or you are trying too hard. If it were that easy to just relax and not think about it every second of the day I would be pregnant already. Hopefully that didn't sound mean it's just very hard to hear that over and over. That being said, I am going to try my hardest to do that. With that thought I found some things on the website of Midwest Infertility Awareness site that are helpful. Thank you all for taking time to read my blog. It really means a lot. I really feel like this is helping me just by getting my thoughts out!! I have many more thoughts and other stuff I would like to blog about. I hope you keep reading. I am kind of excited to blog since I never have before lol!!
Suggestions of Hurtful Things NOT to Say and Do
Infertility:
"So you are infertile. Who's 'fault' is it?" These are issues couples must go through together. Placing blame on one spouse or the other is destructive. Often, there is not even a preventable cause for these situations, thus blame breeds false guilt and added, unnecessary pain.
"Don't worry. You are still young. You have plenty of time." Each month passing without a child is another loss. As certain medical causes of infertility can also bring early sterility, youth is no guarantee of reproductive time. While relative youth may be a biological advantage for some, being young may also mean more years of pain for some. Inability to conceive during a woman's "most fertile years" (prior to age 25) may cause her to feel hopeless for the future.
"Just relax (or go on vacation, or adopt a baby) and you will get pregnant." The word "relax" is one of the most frustrating words ever said to infertile couples. It is a proven fact infertility is not caused by stress in most cases, but rather infertility is a major cause of stress. Relaxing, going on a vacation, or adopting a baby will not cause an infertile couple to miraculously get pregnant! In fact, adopting a baby statistically lowers a couple's chances of natural conception.
Suggestions of Things to say and do:
I'm so sorry…
…that you are hurting so much."
…that you are feeling this way."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"We are here for you. What can I do for you right now?" As noted in the list of things not to say, please be specific when you offer help. Leaving it open to "Call if you need anything." is not as helpful as finding a specific area of need and meeting it. If there isn't anything to be done "right now," other than listening and praying, be sure to check back with some specific ideas of ways you can help in the coming days and weeks.
"I am praying for you." Then be sure to follow through on your commitment to pray!
"I do not know exactly how you feel, but I hurt with you."
If both you and the hurting couple are religious, pray with and for them.
If you ever feel the need for tears, it is fine to cry. Grief shared is grief divided.
Listen without always offering advice or saying what you would do.
Tell them you support them and will be there for them. It is important to offer support in words as well as actions.
** *You don't have to say these things to me I just thought it was an awesome article and helpful in explaining the way I am feeling.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Failed IUI #2
I have decided to blog about our infertility struggles and what we are going through. I think putting my thoughts down in writing will help me and my friends and family as well. Also, this is a way for me to keep everyone posted on where we are at in this long journey. It is VERY hard for people to understand unless you have personally been through this yourself. Please don't take this personal if I think you don't understand. And a big thanks to a good friend of mine who is going through the same things herself and is able to help me along the way since she knows exactly how I feel. Please keep her in your prayers as well!!! I know good things are ahead for the both of us!!
Let me back up by just saying that Travis and I have been trying to get pregnant since April of 2009. I thought 4-6 months off the pill we would get pregnant no problem. And at first I honestly didn't really care. I was not worried about it at all. Then after 1 year I started to get a little concerned. I went to my regular Gynecologist and they did routine testing of my thyroid, progesterone, and a test to see if my tubes were open. Everything came back alright. They did a few tests on Travis and they thought there might be an issue with him so we went to see a Urologist. After seeing the Urologist he had no reason to believe there was a problem. So everything seemed ok for both of us. We decided to wait another year before we went to a Fertility Dr. So 2 years roll by and still not pregnant. Well right before the 2 year mark I tried acupuncture a few times and no luck. My Chiropractor told me about a Fertility Dr. in St. Louis. Also, a friend of a friend went to this Dr. I heard good things about him so we chose him. We first went to see him in March of 2011. One of the first things he suspected was that I have endometreosis. He did a laporoscopy and sure enough he found mild endo. He burned it out and said it really wasn't that big of a deal. He didn't think this was the reason we couldn't get pregnant. He diagnosed us with Unexplained Infertility. He said try for 3 months and if you are not pregnant come back and see me. 3 months came and went and still nothing. We decided to try IUI (artificial insemination). IUI is not very effective. Cheap though. Only like a 20% chance it will work. In July of 2011 we did our first IUI. It was negative. On this first round we were not on any fertility drugs. He wanted to do a natural cycle. On round two he decided to try Clomid. He put me on Clomid and I ended up making 3 follicles which in turn I released 3 eggs. He actually inseminated me twice that week thinking it would help my chances. I found out today (9-6-11) that is did not work either.
Today has been a very hard day and we are not sure if we should try IUI one more time or move on to IVF (In Vitro) or even just give up. So we are taking at least a month off and weighing our options. I am going to give more details in later blogs about how emotionally stressful this fertility stuff really is. This is my first time blogging but I want everyone to try to understand how I feel and how hard this is for us right now!! We couldn't ask for better family and friends!! We appreciate all the love, support, prayers, and everything you all are doing for us!!! Feel free to add any comments you would like or anything you would like to tell me.
Let me back up by just saying that Travis and I have been trying to get pregnant since April of 2009. I thought 4-6 months off the pill we would get pregnant no problem. And at first I honestly didn't really care. I was not worried about it at all. Then after 1 year I started to get a little concerned. I went to my regular Gynecologist and they did routine testing of my thyroid, progesterone, and a test to see if my tubes were open. Everything came back alright. They did a few tests on Travis and they thought there might be an issue with him so we went to see a Urologist. After seeing the Urologist he had no reason to believe there was a problem. So everything seemed ok for both of us. We decided to wait another year before we went to a Fertility Dr. So 2 years roll by and still not pregnant. Well right before the 2 year mark I tried acupuncture a few times and no luck. My Chiropractor told me about a Fertility Dr. in St. Louis. Also, a friend of a friend went to this Dr. I heard good things about him so we chose him. We first went to see him in March of 2011. One of the first things he suspected was that I have endometreosis. He did a laporoscopy and sure enough he found mild endo. He burned it out and said it really wasn't that big of a deal. He didn't think this was the reason we couldn't get pregnant. He diagnosed us with Unexplained Infertility. He said try for 3 months and if you are not pregnant come back and see me. 3 months came and went and still nothing. We decided to try IUI (artificial insemination). IUI is not very effective. Cheap though. Only like a 20% chance it will work. In July of 2011 we did our first IUI. It was negative. On this first round we were not on any fertility drugs. He wanted to do a natural cycle. On round two he decided to try Clomid. He put me on Clomid and I ended up making 3 follicles which in turn I released 3 eggs. He actually inseminated me twice that week thinking it would help my chances. I found out today (9-6-11) that is did not work either.
Today has been a very hard day and we are not sure if we should try IUI one more time or move on to IVF (In Vitro) or even just give up. So we are taking at least a month off and weighing our options. I am going to give more details in later blogs about how emotionally stressful this fertility stuff really is. This is my first time blogging but I want everyone to try to understand how I feel and how hard this is for us right now!! We couldn't ask for better family and friends!! We appreciate all the love, support, prayers, and everything you all are doing for us!!! Feel free to add any comments you would like or anything you would like to tell me.
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